3月11日とその直後 — the disaster, and how to write about it (テーマ４・１)

Translate this passage into English. 二〇一一年三月十一日の午後、東北地方の太平洋沖で大きな地震が発生し、その直後に津波が沿岸を襲った。多くの町では、堤防を越えた波によって建物が流され、住民は高台への避難を余儀なくされた。原子力発電所では電源が失われ、冷却ができなくなったため、周辺の住民に避難の指示が出された。

1. 01Read the three sentences to their ends first

   襲った, 余儀なくされた, 出された. A tsunami struck; residents were forced into something; instructions were issued. Readings you need: 沿岸[えんがん], 堤防[ていぼう], 流される[ながされる], 高台[たかだい], 余儀[よぎ], 原子力発電所[げんしりょくはつでんしょ], 電源[でんげん], 冷却[れいきゃく], 指示[しじ]. Note how many of the verbs are passive: this is characteristic of Japanese disaster reportage, which describes what happened to places and people rather than naming agents.

2. 02Sentence 1: 発生する for an event occurring, and 直後 as a time noun

   大きな地震が発生し、その直後に津波が沿岸を襲った. 発生する is the standard verb for an event coming into being — an earthquake occurred — and 発生し is its ます-stem chaining forward. 直後[ちょくご] is a noun meaning the moment immediately after, taking に; その直後に is immediately afterwards. 襲う is transitive and takes を: the tsunami struck the coast. English: On the afternoon of 11 March 2011, a large earthquake occurred off the Pacific coast of the Tōhoku region, and immediately afterwards a tsunami struck the coastline.

3. 03Sentence 2, first half: によって for the agent of a passive, and 流される

   堤防を越えた波によって建物が流され. 堤防を越えた波 is a relative clause: waves that had overtopped the sea walls. によって marks the agent of the passive that follows, exactly as the grammar topic described. 流される is the passive of 流す, to wash away — buildings were washed away — and 流され is its ます-stem chaining into the next clause. Note that the passive here is not evasive: it is the accurate voice, because the water is the agent and the buildings are what it acted on.

4. 04Sentence 2, second half: 余儀なくされる is a set phrase worth knowing

   住民は高台への避難を余儀なくされた. 余儀なくされる means to be left with no choice but to, or to be forced into, and it is a fixed expression common in this register. 高台への避難 is evacuation to high ground, with への as the noun-modifying form of へ. English: residents were forced to evacuate to higher ground. Rendering it as residents evacuated would lose the compulsion the Japanese states, and the compulsion is the point of the sentence.

5. 05Sentence 3: two agentless passives and a causal ため

   電源が失われ、冷却ができなくなったため、周辺の住民に避難の指示が出された. 失われる is the passive of 失う: power was lost, with no agent, which is the honest voice because the causes were multiple. ～ができなくなった is came to be impossible, using the potential ができる negated with なる. ため after a plain-form clause gives the reason. 指示が出された is instructions were issued — again agentless, and here the agent genuinely varies, since evacuation instructions came from different levels of authority. に on 住民 marks who received them.

6. 06Read the English back, and check you have added nothing

   On the afternoon of 11 March 2011, a large earthquake occurred off the Pacific coast of the Tōhoku region, and immediately afterwards a tsunami struck the coastline. In many towns, buildings were washed away by waves that had overtopped the sea walls, and residents were forced to evacuate to higher ground. At the nuclear power station, power was lost and cooling became impossible, and instructions to evacuate were issued to residents in the surrounding area. Now check: no number has been added, no agent has been supplied that the Japanese did not supply, and no evaluation has crept in. In this topic that check matters more than anywhere else in the subject.

Result: On the afternoon of 11 March 2011, a large earthquake occurred off the Pacific coast of the Tōhoku region, and immediately afterwards a tsunami struck the coastline. In many towns, buildings were washed away by waves that had overtopped the sea walls, and residents were forced to evacuate to higher ground. At the nuclear power station, power was lost and cooling became impossible, and instructions to evacuate were issued to residents in the surrounding area.

You want to say, in Japanese, that a family's house was carried away by the tsunami. Write it three ways — plain passive, passive with によって, and suffering passive — and say what each one commits you to.

1. 01Plain passive: the event, with no agent named

   家が流された. 流す is transitive, to wash something away; 流される is its passive; 流された is the past. The sentence states that the house was washed away and names nobody and nothing as the agent. This is the default voice of disaster reportage and it is not evasion — when a whole coastline is affected, attributing each loss to a specific cause is neither possible nor informative. If you write only one sentence about damage, this is the one to write.

2. 02Passive with によって: the agent named, in formal register

   家は津波によって流された. によって names the tsunami as the agent, and the sentence is now slightly more formal and slightly more specific. Note that に alone would also be grammatical — 家は津波に流された — and would read as less formal; によって is the written and analytical register, and it is the form Appendix 2 lists. Use it when the agent matters to your argument, which in this topic usually means when you are distinguishing tsunami damage from earthquake damage.

3. 03Suffering passive: the person who is worse off becomes the subject

   その家族は津波に家を流された. Look carefully at what has changed. The subject is now 家族, the people; 家 is marked with を even though the sentence is passive; and 津波に names the cause. The construction says that the family suffered the washing-away of their house. English has to unpack it — the family had their house washed away, or the family lost their house to the tsunami — and no single English clause carries the same force. This is the construction Appendix 2 means by including the suffering passive.

4. 04Know when the suffering passive is wrong

   It requires a person, or at least an animate party, who is adversely affected, and it requires that the affectedness be the point. その町は津波に家を流された is odd, because a town is not the kind of subject that suffers in this construction's sense. And using it where no adversity is meant produces an unintended complaint: 私は先生に本を読まれた says a teacher read my book and I was put out by it, which is rarely what a writer intends. Deploy it deliberately, once, and check that the adversity reading is the one you want.

5. 05Choose by what your paragraph is doing

   If the paragraph is describing what happened to a region, use the plain passive throughout and vary it with intransitives — 建物が倒れた, 道路が寸断された. If it is distinguishing causes, bring in によって. If it is turning to what people experienced, one suffering passive marks the shift of focus from places to persons more economically than a whole sentence of explanation. That is a stylistic decision with a grammatical instrument, which is exactly the level of control the AO3 range grid is looking for.

6. 06Then apply the topic's honesty check

   Re-read whichever version you wrote and ask one question: does it assert anything I could not support? 家が流された asserts an event. 津波によって流された asserts a cause. その家族は家を流された asserts that a specific family suffered a specific loss — and if that family is your invention, you have fabricated testimony. The rule of this topic is that a constructed example must be marked as constructed: 例えば、次のような場合を考えてみよう と断ったうえで書く. The grammar is available; the invention is not.

Result: 家が流された。／家は津波によって流された。／その家族は津波に家を流された。 The plain passive states an event with no agent and is the default voice for describing a region. によって names an agent and belongs in analytical writing where the cause is part of the argument. The suffering passive makes the affected person the subject, marks the lost thing with を, and asserts adversity — which means it must never be used to narrate a family you have invented.

Write a paragraph of about 180 characters that makes the duration argument, and includes one illustration that is explicitly marked as constructed rather than reported.

1. 01Open with the institutional fact, not the feeling

   避難生活は、多くの人にとって数日ではなく数年にわたるものとなった. ～にとって is for or from the point of view of; ～ではなく…である corrects an expectation; ～にわたる means extending over a period. The sentence makes duration the subject in its first clause, which is the argument this paragraph exists to make. Notice that it contains no number of people and no number of years — 数年 is a documented order of magnitude for a great many people and is honest as stated.

2. 02Support it with a sequence of official categories

   避難所から仮設住宅へ、さらに復興公営住宅へと移る人も多く、住まいが三度変わった例も珍しくない. から…へ…さらに…へと builds the sequence into the syntax. 珍しくない is the double negative from the reading-comprehension habit, meaning it was far from unusual. The evidence here is the existence of the third stage: nobody builds permanent public housing for a two-week emergency, so the category itself testifies to the timescale.

3. 03Mark the illustration as constructed BEFORE writing it

   例えば、次のような場合を考えてみよう。中学生のとき避難所に移り、高校を仮設住宅から通い、卒業後に別の町へ移った、というような場合である. The frame 例えば、次のような場合を考えてみよう announces a hypothetical, and ～というような場合である closes it as one. Everything inside is therefore offered as an illustration of a shape, not as a report of a person. This is the honest way to make displacement concrete, and it is a normal move in Japanese expository writing rather than an awkward disclaimer.

4. 04Say what the illustration is an illustration OF

   このような場合、失われるのは家だけではない。学校、仕事、近所の人とのつながりも同時に失われる. ～のは…だけではない is the frame for it is not only; the second sentence lists what else. An illustration that is not immediately followed by the point it illustrates is decoration. This is also where the paragraph earns its analytical marks, because it converts a story-shape into a claim about what displacement costs.

5. 05Close by connecting to a documented category

   こうした負担の積み重ねが、震災関連死という区分が設けられた背景にあると考えられる. 積み重ね is accumulation; ～という区分 packages the official term; 背景にある is lies behind; と考えられる attributes the inference rather than asserting it. The paragraph now ends on a documented institutional fact that supports everything before it, which is exactly the inversion these notes recommend: let the administrative record carry the emotional weight, because it can bear it and an invented anecdote cannot.

6. 06Run the topic's specific checks

   One: is there any named person, family, place-plus-person, or quotation? No. Two: is every hypothetical framed as a hypothetical? Yes, twice — 次のような場合 and というような場合. Three: is every number either absent or an attributed order of magnitude? 数日, 数年 and 三度 are all structural rather than statistical. Four: is every evaluation attributed? と考えられる carries the only inference. Those four checks take under a minute and they are what makes this material safe to write about.

Result: 避難生活は、多くの人にとって数日ではなく数年にわたるものとなった。避難所から仮設住宅へ、さらに復興公営住宅へと移る人も多く、住まいが三度変わった例も珍しくない。例えば、次のような場合を考えてみよう。中学生のとき避難所に移り、高校を仮設住宅から通い、卒業後に別の町へ移った、というような場合である。このような場合、失われるのは家だけではない。学校、仕事、近所の人とのつながりも同時に失われる。こうした負担の積み重ねが、震災関連死という区分が設けられた背景にあると考えられる。

Translate into Japanese. Immediately after the disaster, the Self-Defense Forces, the fire service and the police carried out search and rescue together. Large numbers of volunteers also arrived, and centres were set up to coordinate them. However, some local authorities had themselves been affected, and were obliged to organise relief while rebuilding their own offices.

1. 01Sentence 1: a list of institutions, and 共同で for together

   震災の直後、自衛隊、消防、警察が共同で救助と捜索にあたった. 直後 takes に in その直後に but is used adverbially without it after a noun plus の, as here. The three institutions are listed with the Japanese enumeration comma 、 and the last takes が as the compound subject. 共同で is jointly. ～にあたる is the idiomatic verb for undertaking a task or duty, more natural here than 行った, and it is exactly the register Japanese reportage uses for this material.

2. 02Sentence 2, first half: large numbers of and also

   多くのボランティアも各地から集まり. 多くの is the standard prenominal for large numbers of; 大勢の would also work for people. も after ボランティア carries the English also, and note it replaces が rather than joining it — Japanese does not stack も onto が. 各地から, from all over, adds information the English implied. 集まる is intransitive and 集まり is its ます-stem chaining forward: this is the transitivity choice again, since nobody gathered them.

3. 03Sentence 2, second half: were set up is an institutional passive

   その調整のために災害ボランティアセンターが設けられた. その調整のために is in order to coordinate them, with のために for purpose after a noun. 設けられる is the same institutional passive used in the technology topic — established, with the establishing body unstated, which is right because different bodies set up different centres. 災害ボランティアセンター is the proper name of the institution and should be used rather than a descriptive paraphrase; using the real institutional term is worth a mark that ボランティアの事務所 is not.

4. 04Sentence 3, first half: themselves been affected needs 自身 and 被災する

   しかし、自治体自身が被災した場合も多く. 自身 after a noun means itself or themselves and is the precise rendering; 自分 would be wrong for an institution. 被災する is the verb built on the 被 family from earlier in this topic — to be affected by a disaster — and it says in three syllables what English needs five words for. ～場合も多く is there were many cases where, with the ます-stem-like adjectival 多く chaining forward.

5. 05Sentence 3, second half: were obliged to is ざるを得ない, and while is ながら

   自らの庁舎を立て直しながら支援を行わざるを得なかった. 自らの is one's own in formal register. ～ながら chains two simultaneous actions by the same subject, which is what the English while is doing. 行わざるを得なかった is the past of ～ざるを得ない, had no choice but to carry out — the form flagged in the prose above, and a strong range signal. Note that ざるを得ない attaches to the ない-form stem, so 行う gives 行わざる and する gives せざる, which is the irregular worth memorising.

6. 06Check institutional names, register and the honesty rule

   Institution check: 自衛隊, 消防, 警察, 災害ボランティアセンター, 自治体 — all real terms, none paraphrased. Register: あたった, 設けられた, 得なかった — plain throughout, formal enough for reportage. Honesty check specific to this topic: has the translation added any evaluation the English did not contain? No — しかし carries the English however, and nothing praises or blames. That check matters because in translation the temptation is to improve the source, and improving it here would be inventing.

Result: 震災の直後、自衛隊、消防、警察が共同で救助と捜索にあたった。多くのボランティアも各地から集まり、その調整のために災害ボランティアセンターが設けられた。しかし、自治体自身が被災した場合も多く、自らの庁舎を立て直しながら支援を行わざるを得なかった。 The scoring decisions: ～にあたる for undertaking a duty, も replacing が, the intransitive 集まる, のために for purpose, the institutional passive 設けられた, the real institutional name, 自身 for an institution, 被災する, ～場合も多い, ～ながら for simultaneity, and ～ざるを得ない for compulsion.

Write a paragraph of about 160 characters on 海外の反応 and 絆 that is warm in effect but documentary in method, and that includes the criticism of the word as well as its currency.

1. 01Open with what happened, in the passive, with no adjectives

   震災の直後、各国から救援隊が派遣され、多くの支援物資が届けられた. Two institutional passives, 派遣される and 届けられる, both with unstated agents because the agents were many. 各国から is from various countries. There is not one evaluative word in the sentence, and it is more moving for that — the reader supplies the feeling, which is how documentary prose works and how examination prose should.

2. 02Introduce 絆 as a documented fact with its date

   この時期、「絆」という言葉が広く使われ、二〇一一年の「今年の漢字」にも選ばれた. The quotation marks 「」 around a word being discussed are standard Japanese practice and are worth using. ～という言葉 packages the word as an object of discussion rather than using it. にも carries the also, marking the kanji-of-the-year selection as one instance of a wider currency. A dated public fact is far better evidence of currency than an assertion that everyone said it.

3. 03Turn to the criticism, attributed

   一方で、この言葉が被災者への圧力になりかねないという批判もあった. 一方で is the counterweight connective from the range checklist. ～かねない means could well become or risks becoming, a form worth knowing because it hedges a negative prediction precisely. ～という批判もあった attributes the criticism without endorsing it and without naming a critic you cannot cite. The whole sentence is one clause of concession and it changes the paragraph from a tribute into an analysis.

4. 04Add the term that turns sympathy into a problem

   また、海外の報道が原発事故に集中したことで、風評被害が広がったという指摘もある. ～ことで marks the means or cause with a nominalised clause. 集中する is to be concentrated. 風評被害 is introduced with no gloss because the previous prose has defined it, and the sentence attributes the causal claim with ～という指摘もある. This is the analytical high point of the paragraph, and it arrives only because the two preceding sentences established both the sympathy and the criticism.

5. 05Close with a structural evaluation rather than a feeling

   支援がもたらしたのは物資だけではなく、孤立していないという感覚でもあったと言われている. ～のは…だけではなく…でもある is a two-part frame that lets you say what something also was; と言われている attributes the whole evaluation. This is the one sentence in the paragraph that says something about meaning rather than about events, and putting it last, hedged, and after the criticism is what makes it credible rather than sentimental.

6. 06Run the Theme 4 checks one more time

   No invented number: none appears. No fabricated testimony: no person is named or quoted. Every evaluation attributed: と言われている twice, という批判もあった once, という指摘もある once. Contested matters named as contested: the use of 絆 and the effect of foreign coverage, both. Register consistent: 届けられた, 選ばれた, あった, ある, あった — plain throughout. Those five checks are the whole discipline of writing about this theme, and they take a minute.

Result: 震災の直後、各国から救援隊が派遣され、多くの支援物資が届けられた。この時期、「絆」という言葉が広く使われ、二〇一一年の「今年の漢字」にも選ばれた。一方で、この言葉が被災者への圧力になりかねないという批判もあった。また、海外の報道が原発事故に集中したことで、風評被害が広がったという指摘もある。支援がもたらしたのは物資だけではなく、孤立していないという感覚でもあったと言われている。